Alone
Finally I am alone. I am alone, in the middle of the city, the walkable city with streets full of people so close that we can all catch swine flu from each other just from being on the same sidewalk. I'm finally alone with my earbuds listening to my iPhone full of music from the 1940s through the current year, able to choose from 11 different Phish albums of the 1990's and Yes and The Flight of the Conchords but not Steely Dan and it's like "What the hell, why can't I listen to Steely Dan right now?!" I'm alone; I've isolated myself in my room with my laptop so I can spend all night all alone thoroughly paging through Facebook and learning all the details of the lives of my high school rivals.
It's quiet... there's no one making any noise, so I can relax and sit back and blast the TV On Demand while I watch one of the 472 TV series available to watch for free. Since the house is empty, I can talk to myself as much as I want to. I can yell at myself and scream for joy at the brilliant epiphanies that I come to in my solitude.
I finally have some time to think... time for some contemplation, and to get real introspective while I listen on my iPod to lyrics written in the past by famous freethinkers and lyricists. Fed by my incoming text messages, I come to deeply independent conclusions about the state of my interrelationships and the social structure of our days and times.
I am alone within the bounds. What would the sound in my head be if I were alone in the silence of a rural Oregon farm, outside the shed in which I sleep? On a seldom trafficked gravel road, with no sense of the need to determine a direction? The weight of all knowledge coming down upon me in that moment is too much for me to understand. Only in my busy isolation can I interpret the world around me; surrounded by the outside light I would wilt. Inside the noise I expand eternally; outside in the never ending universe I become but a disappearing point in the time that is so huge that it can not possibly exist within the mind.
But for some reason, I have never wanted so much to become that point.
It's quiet... there's no one making any noise, so I can relax and sit back and blast the TV On Demand while I watch one of the 472 TV series available to watch for free. Since the house is empty, I can talk to myself as much as I want to. I can yell at myself and scream for joy at the brilliant epiphanies that I come to in my solitude.
I finally have some time to think... time for some contemplation, and to get real introspective while I listen on my iPod to lyrics written in the past by famous freethinkers and lyricists. Fed by my incoming text messages, I come to deeply independent conclusions about the state of my interrelationships and the social structure of our days and times.
I am alone within the bounds. What would the sound in my head be if I were alone in the silence of a rural Oregon farm, outside the shed in which I sleep? On a seldom trafficked gravel road, with no sense of the need to determine a direction? The weight of all knowledge coming down upon me in that moment is too much for me to understand. Only in my busy isolation can I interpret the world around me; surrounded by the outside light I would wilt. Inside the noise I expand eternally; outside in the never ending universe I become but a disappearing point in the time that is so huge that it can not possibly exist within the mind.
But for some reason, I have never wanted so much to become that point.
posted by Kir at 10:07 PM
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