2012 Apocalypse Is Impossible; Here's Why

Herein I will attempt to display why the world can not end on December 21st, 2012, through the application of extreme logic.

Many times, I have embarked on a journey by air, very early in the morning, after a night full of fantastical envisioned aviation disasters. Every time this happens, I wake up, I decide that my nightmares were an omen, and that I should not get on the plane or I will die. However, I always get on the plane, and yet I am still alive. One time, I missed the plane, which did not crash as I expected, in my knowledge that I had only missed the flight due to a greater level of the Universe being "in my corner."

Here I put forth my first example of the logic we will use in this argument for continued planetary survival. The reason I did not die in a plane crash is precisely because I knew that I would. Let me phrase this differently. From a statistical point of view, the likelihood of my dying in a place crash is lessened by the premonition I have of death in a plane crash. And the more times I inaccurately foresee my own end, the less likely it becomes that I will be correct on the next occasion of my clairvoyance.

Knowing that our species has survived due to the fact that our life-supporting planet, during our own livelihood as homo sapiens sapiens, has not been impacted by a life-destoying asteroid even though asteroids have hit the earth before, we can deduce that the simple principle of statistical reasoning applies in Nature.

However, as humans functioning on an enlightened level, we've invented irony to explain those things that run wildy against statistical reasoning, which we know to be prevalent in the natural course of things in this universe; or rather, in this dimension. Thus, irony is a uniquely human creation, existing only in the dimension in which time and space are understood by us as to be not under the control of us, who live only in this dimension, as far as we know.

Now, I don't want to get too deeply into bickering over how many, if in fact more than one, dimensions would necessarily be involved in the cosmic rapture of 2012 as far as we scientifically understand it to this date, but, suffice it to say that the most probable circumstance of apocalypse would be that the scientists at CERN create a repeat of the Big Bang; other theories pale in comparison, lacking the deep basis in theoretical physics.

Another big bang, an end to our universe, in essence, would be an end to all that we know and all that we have created. Thus, it would be an end to irony. Now for the ultimate end of irony to be ironic, in that we knew the apocalyptic outcome through premonitions granted us by the Mayans (as I knew that I would die in a plane crash), would be ironic in addition to the irony of the event itself, leaving irony left over in a realm in which it logistically speaking can not exist.

In conclusion, the statistical likelihood of the ultimate end to everything that we know of (and everything that we can imagine) happening at the moment that we think it's going to happen is impossible. Irony doesn't exist on a cosmic scale. Our inventions of understanding and labeling don't apply in the vast stretches of whatever is outside of space as we know it. If they did, it would be proof that we're God. And if we humans collectively are God, then we can't meet our end on December 21st, 2012.